The Rebellion Sucks!

Hi, for those of you who don't know me, I'm EM-718. Or that's my designation. I work in the Electrical Division of the Engineering Department of the Reactor Controls Squadron of the Death Star Mk II. I've been working here for a while, trying to keep my division running strong and out of Darth Vader and the Emporer's sight. And it hasn't been easy, let me tell you.

First of all, there's that damn rebellion to deal with. I work on the freakin Death Star Mk II!! Just because some Sith-spawn hot shot pilots made a lucky shot and vaped the first Death Star is not a good reason to increase security on the second Death Star that no one outside of the Empire knows exists!! This Death Star is going to be twice as powerful and nowhere near as vulnerable as the first one. I hate having to show my ID constantly to guards and computers. I'm already here, I've shown you my ID at least three times today already, you don't need to see it again, you stupid nerfherder! I am not a Rebel spy! If I was, I wouldn't be teaching cadets how to operate the reactor, I'd be stealing the access codes for all the shuttles that transit to and from the forest moon Bendor or whatever it's called.

Second, enough with all the inspections and operational safegaurd exams! If we can pass one major inspection per year, we don't need to get inspected again for another year. Not a month later!! It's bad for morale! Granted this Death Star isn't nearly as old as the first one was, but it's clean! Take my word for it. AND STOP PAINTING EVERYTHING!